In some not too far past,i often bristled when in an effort to make me feel better,someone would say to me *things happen for a reason*...or....*God doesn't give you more than you can handle*...it felt like a greeting card philosophy to try to package something so complex in a bite-size chunks...
As much as I do agree things happen for a reason...i also share the school of thought that says..*things don't just happen!*....*people make decisions,and these decisions often set the course of subsequent events,whether good or bad!*....
Atleast from personal experience I know this when I got in trouble in school....*God didn't orchestrate my decision to take on a malpractice! I did!...and the rest of the events that followed were just a domino effect of that one decision!....God didn't make that happen!..
But I can agree with the thought that says...*God is aware of all our ways and He can fashion a purpose out of it that become a praise to his infinite wisdom*.....Hence,all things work together....hellloooo!!!...FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE!...
i can also boldly say that the reality of life after that one decision opened my eyes to a whole lot and inscribed in me a lesson of a life time...and it engraved in me the difference between helping a friend in God's way and helping a friend in your own unrenewed way....notice..i said my own way because..that way called my way was wrong!!!...it landed me in a hot bed of trouble and sorrow!!!!....
In my little existence...say my twenties!..the toughest I have had to weather in my life aside the one-semester rustication from school was also a bad relationship break-up.
I couldn't possibly imagine what life would have in store for me after it...i was completely beaten!...
The journey through that grief I believe has prepared me in some way for my future!! It put me on familiar terms with loss and sorrow, and the fact that as cliche or trite as it may sound...*GOD USES TIME AND HIS WORD AS THE ULTIMATE HEALER!...
NO MATTER HOW BLACK THE HOURS,LIGHT,LAUGHTER AND FEELING WILL SLOWLY BEGIN TO TRICKLE BACK ONE DAY!!!!*
I also learnt that scars are always there,raw wounds may close!! But when you carefully examine yourself before bed, it's you who can see it best in the mirror!
Those two events have taught me that there are no shortcuts to healing..there is no circumventing the pain!...
To truly heal,you must walk right through the blazing core of grief and face it head on,every agonising day!!! Only then can you begin to make baby steps towards recovery! Grief is an alchemist! It will change you, and morph you into someone more empathetic...more aware of what is precious..and more clearly able to see your priorities!!
What I learned,most of all,through pain,and my immersion in sorrow,was this, IT HURT!...
We all grief in different ways.for me I needed to chew and chew it over before I spew it out eventually ...
the shared experience of loss with others joined me with many new and great people the Lord has blessed me with.
I have since then experienced a rebirth of myself with precious wisdom,beong the treasured consolation...so also,A family of people who love me unconditionally ...a fortified energy to face the future with such hope...a fearlessnes....a smile and....a scar that cautions!!!
In all God has been faithful to use heverything to mould me.....for that i am blessed....and grateful!!
HadassaH
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