its a long long road of change!

hello sister seraph....
..............we MISS you so much!*

You never know what nostalgic feeling it brings when someone you least expected calls you to tell you they miss you so much...

I don't know but I felt really ELATED when Niyi makanjuola called me....
i can't recall ever giving him my number back at O2C...and I don't think I was ever really close to him even though we have had to share pleasantries often....and yeah...we worked together at a particular Oxygen concert last year and there was that time this year when we sang together while the technical guys were doing sound check!.....but his call had a breathe of pure genuineness that put a wide smile on my face...hmmm!....cute!

We truly are social beings who love to be loved and missed by the people whom we have shared a portion of our lives with and whom we also proclaim to love....it hurts when you are away and no one misses you or even calls to genuinely say....*hey!...we sorta miss u!

Well that's not the case for me....i have had wonderful people call me especially those little people whose lives i was privileged to have touched somehow....and others who just missed my personality and uniqueness....the text messages and calls  were only  a proof that I have/had been given alil apartment in their large heart!!

for this and much more I am content and grateful...and I consider myself really blessed...

I have also learnt that people don't only live in houses.

..they also live in our heart...

.and we were the ones who gave them the space they have in that unseen world of our heart....(the amazing thing is that that world is so very very real!)

.....some may have a castle-size mansion in our heart....for some it may be but a cubicle of space....for some,because of our fondness and time spent together sharing and laughing,they warmed their way to own so large a space in us....(all of this happened while we opened our heart and accepted them in)...none of it was outside our consent!....

*When you love someone,there is nothing that person needs to do to make you love them  because you already do*
....this i believe our Lord did for us and also said....
*WE HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED IN THE BELOVED!*.......

So in my opinion,Loving someone is purely accepting that person as they came into your life without reserve!!!

.....HadassaH!!! This so-so-so person has her reservation about you!!!....,i heard someone tell me that in a conversation....a long while ago....

For a while now I have hated that words like 

• Reservation 
• Unstable 
• Emotional........blah blah blah

For far too long i have known people who claim to love you yet have reservations!!!...

      ..*THEY SEEK TO CHANGE YOU!*..

And such people I discover don't really love you....
*THEY ONLY LOVE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU!*

It's true that the people who come into our lives CHANGE us.They can alter us in ways we don’t even see until they have been gone too long for us to remember.

Those who have loved us fitfully can alter us to be better lovers

....... just as those who have hurt us can transform us into bitter souls who only remember pain.

             

I wonder is it really up to us to allow someone to change us or do circumstances ingrained into our psyche transform us whether we like it or not?

I, as many others too have gone through a lot in my life. I have been hurt and disappointed by friends,h family or lover many times over and I would be lying if I did not acknowledge that those situations have altered me and the way I commune with people.

I KNOW THEY HAVE!!!!!

I know that I am quick to put up a wall, to look into things where there might be nothing or to over think a situation until it resembles nothing near the facts.

I know that I am quick to react and cut people off if I even slightly smell an odor of untruth about them.

I know that I can be quick to judge a person who’s hurt me in the past and even quicker at not trusting them again.

Still, I am also quick to love and despite my own instincts I am quick to trust until I am given a reason not to.

I am quick to listen. I learn.

The most interesting thing for me is that I know what has changed me and actively work on the negative aspects of it. 

I often stand on the sidelines of myself and reflect on my reactions to what affects me and I try. I can’t say I catch them all even when I’m aware but I can say I try. 

I try to not allow other people’s actions to change who i am at my most basic.

I try to stay true to me and to you.

 That’s a beginning.